Fry Am the Egg Man

Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I've always known him.

  • Fry Am the Egg Man
  • Fry Am the Egg Man

I hate yogurt. It’s just stuff with bits in. Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there’s an escaped fish. Saving the world with meals on wheels. Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. Annihilate? No. No violence. I won’t stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I’m the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm – and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn’t you? The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don’t always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.

I’m the Doctor, I’m worse than everyone’s aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I’m introducing myself. Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there’s an escaped fish. I’m the Doctor, I’m worse than everyone’s aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I’m introducing myself. Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there’s an escaped fish.

I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don’t lie to me! Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. You know when grown-ups tell you ‘everything’s going to be fine’ and you think they’re probably lying to make you feel better? Aw, you’re all Mr. Grumpy Face today. All I’ve got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? Aw, you’re all Mr. Grumpy Face today.

It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool. Annihilate? No. No violence. I won’t stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I’m the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm – and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn’t you? I’m nobody’s taxi service; I’m not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship. Did I mention we have comfy chairs? All I’ve got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong?

You know when grown-ups tell you ‘everything’s going to be fine’ and you think they’re probably lying to make you feel better? It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool. You’ve swallowed a planet! It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool.

I’m the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don’t know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don’t know why. I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don’t lie to me! Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don’t always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant. I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks! Did I mention we have comfy chairs?

You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas? I’m the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don’t know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don’t know why. I’m the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don’t know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don’t know why. Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff.

2 comments

Christos

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals…except the weasel. You know, the one with all the well meaning rules that don’t work out in real life, uh, Christianity.

christosFry Am the Egg Man

Related Posts

2 comments

Join the conversation
  • christos - October 24, 2014 reply

    You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas? I’m the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don’t know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don’t know why. I’m the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor.

  • proistak - October 24, 2014 reply

    Randy and his son, Dawson, were fishing on a lake in British Columbia and noticed a bald eagle in the water, clearly in distress. Its wings were completely soaked and could not manage to fly itself out of the water.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *