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Put Your Head on My Shoulders

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals…except the weasel. You know, the one with all the well meaning rules that don't work out in real life, uh, Christianity.

Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos. We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy. Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry? Get ready, skanks! It’s time for the truth train! Books are useless! I only ever read one book, “To Kill A Mockingbird,” and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin…but what good does *that* do me?

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals…except the weasel. You know, the one with all the well meaning rules that don’t work out in real life, uh, Christianity. Bart, with $10,000 we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love! Son, when you participate in sporting events, it’s not whether you win or lose: it’s how drunk you get. Inflammable means flammable? What a country.

Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1…2. Homer no function beer well without. I stand by my racial slur. Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you’d step over your own mother just to get one! But you can’t stop at one. You wanna drink another woman! They only come out in the night. Or in this case, the day. I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.

No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and lived to tell about it. Homer no function beer well without. Ahoy hoy? We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy. Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix. Get ready, skanks! It’s time for the truth train!

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Books are useless! I only ever read one book, “To Kill A Mockingbird,” and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin…but what good does *that* do me? I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. You don’t win friends with salad. The Internet King? I wonder if he could provide faster nudity…

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Proistakis Manos

Sold the highest number of back scratchers of an employee in the history of Back Scratchers Inc., Was employee of the month 10 months in a row, Started out as a dishwasher and am now the executive chef at La Lune.

Proistakis ManosPut Your Head on My Shoulders

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  • Proistakis Manos - October 24, 2014 reply

    Seeing how pretty she looked, I saw this as an opportunity to have her in my arms. “But what should a married and a well-respected man be doing with such a girl?” I asked myself.

    christos - October 24, 2014 reply

    The first thing you have to know is that my story isn’t true. But, then, nor is yours. Of course, all those wretched things happened (like my father not talking to me for seven years but instead whistling at me!), but it’s not true. Not really.

  • christos - October 24, 2014 reply

    Every little thing that you can do to change your current disposition will be far more beneficial than it may appear. Any glimpse of happiness or hope, no matter how small, is better than none at all. If you manage to do just one of these things, then congratulate yourself for the effort.

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